I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
