I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate all girls vehemently.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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