I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have post one night stand depression
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