are you still at the devil's house?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
