I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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