Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think my vagina is haunted
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
