I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
