Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
