watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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