I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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