so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
