I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize