im having a threesome with these popsicles
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
