I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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