Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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