He had one of those small greek statue penises
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
