Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
