just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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