my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
