Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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