I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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