I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
