Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's never too late to be topless.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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