I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
