It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
