I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
