oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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