Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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