great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
