So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
