if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
