i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
