literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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