you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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