mondays should just be called national damage control day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
