I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
