We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
