dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize