He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
