It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
