Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
