return my video game
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize