Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
