You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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