his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
