Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
