The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize