It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize