he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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