He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
