Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
