i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
not ubering you a puppy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
