Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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