oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize