# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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