my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
