Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
