her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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