When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
