I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
