the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
soo... how was my night?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
