Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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