Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
