So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
